Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
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