somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
