woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
