Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
