How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you would pick up someone in the library
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize