She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
