I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
So much rum. So many feels.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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