one two three fourrrrnication!
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
