Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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