i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize