That's intense
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
