Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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