oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
