i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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