eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
