When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
i believe in u and ur pee
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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