I showed him my bush... on skype.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
