i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
