He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
this will be a night to untag.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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