it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
