Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
