I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Randomize
