She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
