she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize