I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
