At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Is that strawberry winking at me??
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
