girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Can I color on your dick again?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
