we're blogging at a bar
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
he thought i was a dude.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
