id be glad to
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
