I wish my penis had an off switch
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
