How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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