Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
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