And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize