why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize