I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
