He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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