Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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