I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
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