I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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