Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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