I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize