omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize