You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize