He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
