So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
