We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
