Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
