In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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