I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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