this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
