I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
If I have put a neon โvacancyโ sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
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