That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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