Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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