My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
