And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
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