Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize