dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
its liver damage thursday
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
