Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
