And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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