We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
