that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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