I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
