Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
