hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
