Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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