What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
