i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
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