We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Congratulations! We have a period
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
