I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
