hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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