Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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