He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I think people are normalizing furries
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
