High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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