remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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