normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
