you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize