just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
